Client: When I walk in the door I want three, low level dimmer controlled lights to come on automatically. 

We installed three pressure pads in the corridor under the carpet along with the lights and a special timer. No more fumbling for the light switch.

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Client: I have a 18 bulb chandelier and I need it installed on my 4 metre high ceiling, and I want a 1000 watt dimmer for it too.

We installed an inline dimmer in the ceiling void to allow proper ventilation. A rope edged brass plate with chocolate coloured retractive (click switched) replaced the dying, inadequate wall mounted dimmer.

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Now, here's a good one...an ex-work colleague from some years back, buys a house. We agree from the survey that it needs a new consumer unit to replace the old fuse box and the services (water and gas pipes) need bonding to earth as per the 16th edition. Unfortunately, we also discover that the lighting circuits need rewiring as do the socket ring circuits. So what I thought would be a simple morning-done-by-lunchtime job turns into a house rewire for the weekend madam! Top secret: we had some help from many willing hands!

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Client: We want these lights in our boardroom wired so we can turn them all on and off from three positions in the boardroom, plus remote control for presentations that require low lighting levels.

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It was 6.30pm,we fell into the van, just about to start the engine and the mobile goes off, could we disconnect a 3 phase forklift truck battery charger from an old warehouse, before the lease expired that night?! So at 8:30pm, we set about this battery charger. This led to more work for us from this company, who appreciated us going the 'extra mile' at very short notice. They thanked us so much, it was nearly embarrassing. But, it's nice to feel wanted.

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 It was the day before we were going to sail to Isle of Wight. Off goes the phone. "....slight problem, the builders have found the phone line, with a digger, could you possibly, 'nip up here and fix it?". Of course.

Us: Not a problem.

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Retired, technical client: When I go to bed, I want to press a button so that the hi-fi is switched off at the mains. Also, the control circuit should be disconnected from the mains too.

Us: We'll design a prototype for you, sir, and install it for you if you like.

Client: Just build it, I'll check your design to make sure it meets my standards, I'll install it. Thank you.

Us: Happy to work with you on this one, sir.

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Farmer Client: I need a security system to tell me when thieves are coming across my fields. But infrared is useless. Too many, sheep, cows and dogs. Just want it to detect people walking up right.

Us: We'll build you a bespoke laser pulse barrier. (That's all we're saying!)

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Client: "Your curtains just closed by themselves!"

Us: "Yes, it's dark outside"

Client: "Can you get ours to do that as well?"

Us: "Easy. In fact we can turn anything on or off via the internet as well as check security camera images."

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Us in a hotel in Cyprus on holiday: "I'll just hook my mobile into my palm top to check the house is still secure...", "Ok, dear..."

Us in the airport on the way home, "...and turn the heating on, so the house is nice and warm when we get home."

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It's Saturday morning, I'm shattered, it's been a very long week. The phone goes, "The lights have gone out in my Pharmacy, we can't see a thing, we can't close, can you help?"

"I'll be there as soon as I can, let me put some clothes on!"

40 minutes after I arrive, the lights are back on.